Live simply.

Grow naturally.

Love greatly.

Monday, December 5, 2011

3 Tips One Never Admits to Learning from Experience

Throughout history, knowledge has been gained from a variety of sources. Books, and now the internet, offer information on whatever topic you can come up with. Scientists often employ the method of observation to discover great truths. Go to any school and you are likely to find teachers passing off knowledge left and right. On the job training allows one to learn from experience while being guided by a trained professional. And then there is what I would call the “living life” method – maybe one of the best ways to learn. The following is a list of informative tidbits. You will never hear admittance that these were learned from the “living life” method, so don’t even try get it.
  1. Eggs explode – That’s right ladies and gents. If you have the hankering for some hard boiled eggs, go ahead and begin the preparation. Pot? Check. Eggs? Check. Water? Check. Boil for 5-10 minutes? Simple in theory, but it might be suggested that a timer would be useful. If you don’t use a timer, you might just forget about the eggs. You’ll likely head off to make the beds, straighten the living room, and take a bath while the offspring are sleeping. Wow, you got a lot done! Now you can sit down and read some with your child. “Honey, did you here that pop?” you question as you take a break from the fifth book of the morning and go investigating. That is when the distinct smell of cooked eggs will hit you. It won’t be overwhelming, just enough to remind you “Oh no, the eggs!”  There is no need to rush. The eggs have already exploded. Simply turn off the stovetop, move the pot off the burner, say a prayer of thanksgiving that the house didn’t burn down and start the cleanup process. Check the walls, floors and ceiling for bits of eggs.
  2. Hold on to the stroller’s safety strap. Because you are such a great mother, you realize the importance of getting your child out into the fresh air. Normally you wear your little one, but you have decided to start the exercise regimen that’s sure to get you into the best shape of your life. Thus the need for the stroller you pull out of the shed that is specially built for the active parent. There are a number of features to help ensure the safety of your child during your jaunt into nature: 3 big wheels, an easy to use brake, and an elaborate safety belt are things you are familiar with. Do not dismiss the safety strap that belongs firmly attached to your arm. Even if you think you have things under control, you don’t. You might just hear someone calling your name from behind. As you stop, you note that the incline you are on is very minimal and so you ignore the brake and the safety strap, let go of the stroller, and turn around. The look of horror on the caller’s face will alert you that something is awry. Your head whips around and that same look of horror transfers to your face as you see your child picking up speed on that insignificant incline, stroller tipping back and forth and then –as if in slow motion-you see the stroller gently lay itself down in the ditch on the side of the road. Be very glad that the safety harness is so elaborate.
  3. Do not take your smart phone into the bath. Your husband has warned you any number of times that things like smart phones can’t get wet. Yes, you are his wife, not his child. Yes, you are an adult. Yes, it is your right to make your own decisions. Yes, you are very careful. Despite these very true statements, there are times when you can listen to the advice of your husband without taking offense. This is one of those times. You are basically playing with fire…I mean water.. Even if you somehow make it through 50 baths without damaging the phone, one small misstep can ruin your perfect record. For example, you might always put the toilet seat down before the bath so that you can place the smart phone there when it’s time to get out. However, while in your bath, your cute little 4-year-old girl might come into the room needing to go pee-pee. After she leaves, you finish the chapter of the e-book you were reading, and place the smart phone on the toilet seat…SPLASH!!!...that is no longer down because your cute 4-year-old daughter lifted it up to go to the bathroom. By a miracle, your phone may survive, but why take the chance?

There you have it: 3 tips for those who would rather not learn from experience


  1. I am only hoping that it was not poor Jabel involved in the stroller incident and was just a completely made up story...yet it sounds soo real.

  2. I can say with a clear conscience that Jabel was not involved. And in totally unrelated news, Sarah seems just fine and dandy...:-)

  3. Wonderful observation of our stupidity.